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Thứ Tư, 11 tháng 12, 2013

16 Rules To Know How To Judge The Best Zombie Movies

By Mickey Jhonny


The first step in deciding what are the best zombie movies requires the rather delicate matter of determining what in fact are zombies. The common short hand of calling them the reanimated or walking or living dead isn't quite sufficient. After all, vampires would thereby qualify, too. And them vampires, they ain't no zombies, no way, no how. To determine what qualifies as a zombie, we will need some rules to set the parameters.

Well, they do say that rules are made to be broken. There's no denying that the rules of cinematic zombies have been regularly broken. Despite this, though, some pretty enduring rules about the nature and origins of zombies have persisted -- despite occasional violation. The upshot is that one has to maintain a little flexibility in discussing this stuff, but, if the limitations are duly acknowledged, there are some useful rule-bounds to be identified.

In looking at these zombie movie conventions it is useful to distinguish between the pre and the post Romero zombies. We can conclude by identifying, too, some of the standard narrative rules of zombie movies.

The Pre Romero Zombies

1. The pre-Romero zombies were usually much influenced by the voodoo mythology of Haiti's folk religion. A distinctive feature of this tradition was the notion that some master of the zombies raised them from the dead and as a consequence exercised control over their worldly actions.

2. They were characterized by slow, unbalanced movement,

3. Even before Romero, the convention developed of setting zombies in an apocalyptic nihilistic world.

4. Often dovetailing with the above convention, zombiism was frequently depicted as a plague-like occurrence.

Romero/post-Romero Zombies

5. Among Romero's enduring changes was that the zombies ceased to be in the control of some master-mind. Instead, now, zombies more closely resembled an act of god or natural disaster. It has become common currency that in fact the rise of zombies constituted some kind of retribution by nature against some alleged ecological evil of human action.

6. These new zombies had an apparently insatiable hunger for human flesh.

7. Under Romero's influence, the zombie attacks were explicitly depicted in graphic and gruesome detail, with emphasis on the gore.

8. Perhaps the most enduringly influential Romero idea was that zombies were only "killed" by a decisive head shot, resulting in brain damage.

9 It was mentioned above that the plague aspect of zombiism predates Romero, but he gave it another of its distinctive features with the idea that the plague was spread through zombie bites.

Stock ingredients for a zombie movie

10. Pretty much every zombie movie, it seems, has to have the loser character that, whether out of stupidity, selfishness, cowardice or general inhumanity screws everything up for everyone else. Their anti-group disposition causes a break in the fortifications holding the zombies out of the safe space. So the last shred of human society, the straggling survivors, is smote by the social outcast. (There is very much a kind of communitarian conservatism to most of these movies.)

11. Straggling survivors, of course, are also required. As the genre develops more and more these straggler groups are depicted in a manner suited to please the most vigilant diversity commissar: with an improbable mix of ethnicity, gender and age. Presumably this is all intended as a microcosm of the human condition, with its the hope and futility, dignity and venality thoroughly on display.

12. Initial obliviousness to what is actually happening. Apparently, all zombie movies take place in a world in which no public official, nor any other person with any authority, has ever actually seen a zombie movie. Otherwise they'd know, right?

13. Though on the surface, zombie movies are about killing zombies, they are really about human distrust, betrayal and fear. They're not just surviving the zombies, but themselves, and each other.

14. Usually there has to be some sad sack who just doesn't get it, not able to let go of an emotional attachment to one of the zombies. Somehow, with all the crazy flesh eating and so forth, they can't quite get with the idea that the former loved one has become a cannibalistic ambulating corpse. This rarely goes well for the sad sack.

15. A peace maker and implicit leader, who tries to pull everyone together and is usually thanked for the effort by some obnoxious jerk eventually accusingly commenting "who made you leader?"

16. And, last, but far from least, we need some hotties -- from both sides of the gender divide. Call it "love interests" if you'd like. Personally, I suspect these are secretly the main attraction of major zombie movie geeks, who can finally credibly think, "Those babes will have to have sex with me, now! How else will the human race be repopulated?" The problem of course is, as mentioned above, the hotties are usually represented by both genders. So, in fact, poor geek, there's still some alpha type getting in the way of your apocalyptic fantasy. But, at least it gives them hope. What's the real point of a zombie apocalypse if you can't have a little hope of making it with a hottie?

So, there you have it: the rules for identifying zombies and their movies. Next time, then, the question is posed, what are the best zombie movies , you'll be ready to rock and roll.




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